Why You Gotta Give Me a Fight?

Today I just don't have the words.  Actually yes I do.  Pissy.  I am definitely pissy.  I'm done with stupid, crappy, low paying jobs and stupid supervisors.  I'm done with being nice and doing more.  I'm just fucking done.
I go on unemployment after Friday until late July.  Which is good.  Because if I wasn't I'm honestly not sure that I wouldn't quit before then.

In the meantime, I am looking.  Looking for new opportunities.  All sorts.

I'm ready to be out.

I want so much.  A lot it seems.

My want list:
A clean house
Grateful children
To be alone sometimes
To feel better
To workout more
To not stress about getting fired over education
To not be forced into going back to school when I am not even sure it's what I want
To drive without having to calculate how much gas money I am burning and if we can afford it
To know if Uncle Sam is going to take Corey away
And if he does, to know how long it will be
To go to Missouri-with Kasey
To go to Hawaii (eventually)
To go on training runs with Melon
To do more bike rides with Melissa
To not be annoyed whilst on the telephone
To get out of this freakin sucky rut.

I want to be better.  To get better.

Oh and to not be pissy.

Heartbroken.  What a horrible word.  Every fiber of my being HATES this word; but it exists.  And it exists for a reason.  How else to describe the worst sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach?  The literal creaking of your chest and ribs as you hear the worst news?  The shattering of every thoughts breaking through the glass panes in your mind?  And how do you heal?

To quote one of my faves:
"Fellow Graduates, the answer is simple."  ::fumbles with note cards::  "The answer is....the answer is.....I don't know."
**Disclaimer:  I looked for a YouTube clip for this-none to be found.  Boo!**

This month has been a devastating one not only for our state but for some of our friends and family as well.

In light of the tornadoes and storms I just have to say:

As always, I am truly proud to be an Okie and call Oklahoma home.  I just can't imagine living anywhere else.  I've lived in several places here and it just doesn't get any better.

                                     Except maybe Hawaii-one day I will get there, I swear!  lol

Anyway, I just want to say to those friends out there:  I am here.  I love you.  And I will do anything that I can to help.  If that means fundraising, web searching, driving, feeding-whatever I can do.  I've had my heart broken enough to know the pain of finding out your child is sick.  The pain of knowing you have to say goodbye to the family member you love more than your own life.  The thought of leaving, of walking away, of creating more.  I love you.  More than you know.  

I AM HERE.

Let's Go.